Cobena

How I miss
walking through the streets
of Cobena

smelling the sheep
and the dust
from the roads

getting lost amongst
the labyrinth
of tiny streets

vividly painted
fence posts and metal
playgrounds

so much for
my eyes
to feast on

so much to
keep safely locked
in my memory

yes, the earth
is far too large
for a small budget

Lies

I hate you
I am completely whole and perfect
I understand all I hear
I never feel small or alone
I love to be forgotten
I always take care of myself
I always indulge in beautiful things
I never fear evil
and I never lie

I am the magical blue whale

I am the magical blue whale
I don't eat small krill
I eat dreams and wishes
I don't wear leathery skin
I wear hope forgotten
and left floating
I don't fear anything
for I am bigger
than everything
But there is no need
to fear me
Ask me for a ride
and float through
your old hopes
upon your dreams and wishes
I am the magical blue whale

promise me please

Make me a promise,
and I'll never ask for more
Remember this truth
of which I'm very sure
You may believe that you're not brave
which is very far from true
And you are stronger that you seem
Your strength indeed shows through
I have noticed you
And I know you doubt your intellect
Sweetheart, do that no more
You are smarter than you think
You will change the world
Everything I've said
I believe with all my heart
My dearest little sister
You are very smart
I am not so sure you know this
But I look up to you
I love how you love Jesus
and think of Him in all you do
Please be who God made you to be
feisty, caring, and thoughtful
And while you're at it, remember this
I love you more than possible.

the moon and the stars

To the moon must I reach
And less than perfection
is unheard of
Good counsel must I seek
But to succeed completely
alone is worthy
The weight I know I bear?
That needs to remain
my little secret
The chaos surrounding,
Well that just needs
to be sorted through
The many tears I shed,
They need to be dried quickly
and covered...
My child,
Who has impressed this
upon you?
Who has given this stress
I never intended?
Who told you that it is good
to journey alone?
Why will you not share
your burden with Me?
Why did you let the chaos
over come you
When daily I offer you peace?
Who blotted from your memory
the shoulder I offer you to cry on?
And my child,
Why to them did you listen?

Faithful in December

December is when it happened
It's when my world came down crashing
It is when the persistent pain
came and decided to stay
December is when she died
and cold and frost took over
It is when white covers all the colors
and lights are used to bring back joy

December is when I cried for hours
and sat in utter silence
It's when I was at a loss for words
and felt completely hopeless
But now it is April
when there is life and fresh air and colors
And April is when I realized
That You were still faithful
in December.

You let the lights
bring back the joy
and You're the One who
made the snow sparkle
You were there for me
when I sat in utter silence
And You held me
when I felt all alone

even in December

Annie

She is a six-year-old bundle of joy
and is absolutely precious
she has blonde hair, blue eyes, and
a beautiful toothless grin
she has a laugh to make every
song bird jealous
and a personality
that really could melt a heart of
stone.
she has the touch of an angel
and a peace about her that could
calm any storm and end any war
She has the wisdom of a monarch
and the sensibility of one well beyond
her years.
She also has cancer
and a story that could bring
a calloused man to tears
She has scars from sixteen surgeries
and enough pain-filled moments
to literally fill books
Her life will never be normal
and her body will never be healed
she will never get those organs back
nor the years where she should have
been a small child.
It seems that life has given her
a death sentence,
a punishment for being almost perfect
But God is still holding her fragile life
And she knows that He
is not finished with her yet
He gave her the boldness of a warrior
and the courage of a martyr
and He won't leave her side
as she now faces the biggest struggle
of her life
a journey that will
give her another opportunity
to be every doctors'
favorite patient.

You Who Call me Beautiful

That day I felt worthless
That day I felt used
That day I felt ugly
Knowing all this was untrue
I felt despised, manipulated
unloved
I heard the lies encircling
my head
And I almost let him win
that battle
I almost gave him a
victory

But then I heart Your Voice
You who call me Beautiful
You, the definition of Beauty
Who created me in Your image
You broke through the lies
lies, wrapped about my heart
like old cast iron chains
With a still small voice
saying "I know your beauty
because I created it
I gave it to you
and don't give anyone
the power
to take it away."
Now I know my beauty
because He made me that way
and I strive to reflect His image
And I won't let anyone
take that away.

How Jesus Says I Love You

How Jesus says I love you
is good enough for me
how he wore that crown of thorns
and went to Calvary
how he created the sunset
and beauty for my eyes to see
how he shows me my path
and holds me steadily
how he gave me friends to love
and my precious family
that's how Jesus says I love you
and it's good enough for me

Is it wrong?

I want to hear you
say I love you
I don't want to
just assume
I want to see it
in your eyes
And feel it
through your skin
I want to
know for sure
I want to
feel secure
I want to feel free
to say I love you in return

"Lift up your eyes and look around"

I wish I could see Your face
and call you on the phone
instead I sit here and cry
and feel all alone
It's hardest to believe
when nothing goes right
and hardest to trust
when good is out of sight
The easiest thing to do
Is believe You've forgotten
and see myself alone
in this life-long mission
But then I hear You calling
and whispering my name
and I know that You love me
and You still hold me the same
"Can a mom forget her child
or the baby she has borne?
And even if she does,
I will love you more
I will not forget you
You are engraved on my hands
As surely as I live
My word will always stand."
My Lord my Keeper
how dare I hesitate
I will always love You
and when You ask, I'll wait.

My lovely weeping willow

I weep under the willow
And the willow weeps with me
I use its roots for my pillow
And it cradles me to sleep.

Please protect me lovely branches
And hold me in your arms
Cradle me as the wind dances
To keep me safe and warm.

Please hold me tight till daybreak
So I can dream all night long
Dry my tears as I cry and shake
And sing me your sweet song

Let my sorrows blow away
Like your leaves with the wind
Wherever they land may they stay
To never come around again.

Because There Isn't Always a Next Time

I'll do whatever You ask,
But that.
I'll go where ever you want,
But there.
I'll answer whenever you call,
But now.

Because I need more time to think.
I need more time to just live,
More time to be me.
I won't do it now, but wait,
I promise next time,
I'll have more courage,
I'll be stronger,
It'll be better then,
Please wait, not that, not now, not yet.

No.

I'm sorry Lord for running.
I'm sorry for turning away.
I didn't believe in You,
Nor did I want to risk it,
Now the chance is gone,
The time has now slipped away.
I did not trust You,
When You trusted me.
Now I know,
That Later,
May never come.
Because there isn't always
A next time.
There won't always be me.


"Where You lead me Lord, I will follow.
Where You lead me Lord, I will go.
Come and heal me Lord, I will follow.
Where You lead me Lord, I will go."

I surrender

The Slippery Slope of Misjudgments

Do you value toxic assets?

Do you throw away your day,

And strive towards the fruits of celebrity?

The vanity, the immorality, the implied volatility

You’re afraid of failure’s tenuous grasp,

Yet you strive for the unworthy.

I see your kaleidoscopic emotions,

As you teeter on the edge

Of your harsh barrio reality.

After your latest demon-stration

Of your fallout of weaknesses,

I envision life without you,

I imagine the legacy of friendship

You trail behind you, irrevocably linked

To that animated dance floor where we met.

Afraid to leave

In a few months
I'll be gone
I'll learn how
to move on
But I'll never learn
how to say good-bye

Don't forget me

I want to grow up
I want to move on
I want to move away
I want to learn more
But I don't want to say good bye
I want be done here
I want leave this
I want to see new things
I want to be me
But I want to stay here forever
Come with me?
Don't forget me?
Will you call me?
Be my friend forever?
Although I'm gone,
will you still be there for me
like you are now?
Don't forget my smile,
I won't forget yours.
Don't forget my laugh,
yours I'll cherish forever.
Don't hesitate to call.
I don't want to lose you.
Don't let distance or time
interrupt our friendship.
Don't forget me.
Be my friend forever.
I'm afraid of losing you.
I'm afraid to leave.
I don't want to grow up.

I love you, you know I do

I will listen to you cry,
While thinking of what to say,
Wracking my heart for a piece,
To take your pain away.
I don't understand at all,
What you're going through,
I know that God has a plan,
But I can't tell this to you.
I think it will make you mad,
Even though that truth you know.
You want another answer.
Your anger at Him shows.
How could He be the God of love,
When He let her die?
I don't know the answer to that,
But I know it's ok to cry.

I am a Snowflake Hidden

Inside a glittering drop of rain.
I am a vessel of God's love,
Trapped in a casket of pain.
I am out-going and noisy,
When I am all alone.
I'll talk for hours on end,
When no one else is home.
I am truly blessed to be,
And grateful for each step I take,
And wish my lips would smile,
When you see me, for your sake.
If you look a little deeper,
Maybe, maybe you will see,
That my heart is filled with joy,
And my eyes know how to see.
I am multi-faceted,
With a smooth outside shell
That's clear, and if you look through it,
All this you'll be able to tell.

An Explanation for my Lonliness

I refuse to choose between you
so instead I sit alone.
We will see if you love to fight
more that sitting with me.
That's how you're acting
childish and petty.
I miss you.
I really do, but you
mean no more to me
than she does.
You need to know
that I will not make the choice.
I will not give you my approval
for hating my friend.

nothing fancy please

I want a white dress
to twirl in
one that will let me spin around
it doesn't need to be silky
it need not have lace
nothing expensive is necessary
nothing fancy and rich
simple cotton will do
very nicely in fact
light weight preferred
it can have sleeves
or not,
but please not in between
or maybe two would be nice
one of each
one for the warm days
to twirl barefoot
in soft green grass
or in a field of flowers
and one for the cold days
with white boots, (or skates)
mittens, and a hat to match
I want a white dress
to twirl in